Friday, November 16, 2007

#196: Hell has no fury like a Leftie's scorn

A response to abang-gitar's 'flushes and handedness' post: Left-handers, the brilliant half of the human race (back me up here), are victims to those wretched stereotypes who assigned toilet flush handles, can-openers, and computer mouses (Never realized that did you? But after years spent adapting to this average lifestyle, it is sad to say that we lefties have succumbed to right-handedness in this area)to cater to right handers (they're called righteotypes)

Heck, there are even parents who have (potentially rocking) kids born lefties, but then 'forced to the dark side'. (Bernard and Sam Lim, for instance)

But that's not the point I'm trying to convey here. It's the frustration of the most righteotype creation ever, in my opinion.



The gel pen.

"Whoa Ce. I thought the pen was your best friend."
The pen, yes. But add the letters g, e, and l before it, and you get my lifelong enemy.

It all started when I was 10, I think. My sister was 12, and gel glitter(save me) pens were all the craze, even with the guys. (Don't look away, boys) When random autograph books, filled with 'good luck's and 'frenz 4 eva's, were the Facebooks of yesterday, I found myself dragged into this new-found trend. And that was when the gel pen found himself a new foe.

During that (I-wanna-put-it-behind-me) time, autograph books had to come with gel pens, and gel pens... well, you get the point. So as I found myself more entrapped in this craze, I'd ask people for their (what-value-is-there-in-this) autographs, and I in return had to sign theirs.

Here's the thing, I might as well take this opportunity to slam whoever set the rule that we write from left to right.


If it wasn't for him gel pen and I MAY have been friends. You see, here's the case.

Left handers still have to write from left to right.


So when a left hander, in my case, uses a gel pen, which has ink that takes forever to dry, this happens.




Yes, my hand brushes against the 'wet' ink and smudges the whole paper. So all my autographs were either smudged everywhere, or written in 'retarded handwriting', cause by me having to hold the pen in an awkward way so the ink doesn't smudge.

I could've left well-written 'good luck's on three hot chicks' books if it wasn't for the gel pen. See why we're enemies now?

And just for that, I'm gonna insult you and MISSPELL you! Jell penn! Writetiotipes! Ha! Take that! And that! And... Okay I'm done. (In the distance, Joshua Yee stares at his computer screen and thinks 'That's not how you spell it meh?')

Oh! By the way, I drew this all by myself.



Click here. And never miss the opportunity for free self-publicity.

No comments: