At first glance they may look like punks on a hangover, but la-laness, a peculiar fashion trend mainly sported by Asian teens under Canto-pop influence, has life longevity attributes, recent studies by a research team based in Sierra Leone show. The team, led by Prof. Amtoofree of Nigeria, have identified specific elements of this distasteful vogue to help preserve the lives of an average human being. "La-laness has had it's fair share of support and disapproval." Amtoofree stated. "But after three months of research, we have reason to believe this trend can save lives." Yesterday, in their first press conference since the studies concluded, Amtoofree and his team presented the key life-saving factors of la-laness-
-Should any thug sneak up on you and pummel you on the head, the sharp spikes of your hair ought to do some damage to the baddie's hand. Recommended gel: Brylcreem
-Covering a third of your face with your hair shields away the sun's hazardous rays, preventing diseases like skin cancer and sun tans.
-Leaving your collar up may slow down bullets fired at your neck by 0.0001 miles per hour.
-In case of sudden 'global freezing', two layers of clothing should keep you toasty warm.
-Should a samurai assault you and slice off your fingers, keeping you thumb in your pocket will preserve it's life, and you will still be capable to text message your 'angelbabez.'
-If ever you should fall off a cliff, the 'ropes' of your pants can combine together to assemble a harness. Assembly time: 30 minutes.
-When a gangster confronts you, be friendly and offer him a game or two of checkers on your checked laces.
"When I first saw a group of people practicing la-laness, I called the police and informed them of an alien invasion, but now, knowing that it saves your life, you can be absolutely sure you'll see me donning the la-la colors." Amtoofree said.
Note: Life-saving factors apply only to male human beings.
Source: Reuterz
Other headlines: African activists gun down professor for conforming to Asian lifestyles, Feminists run riot on Sierra Leone lab.
3 comments:
It may save you from bullets, gangsters, sunlight, global freezing and even from falling off cliffs. But can it save you from the stares of people around you who think you dressed in the dark this morning? And the occasional poundings just because "they don't like your dressing"?
Nice post anyhow, love the drawings. Simple yet so professionally done. I've got try my hand at art one day.
BYE!
Oh gosh , this is pure genius ;)
OHYOHHH... this really cracked me up. Thanks Cedric.
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