#331: A is for Absolutelyhilarious

After an unfruitful search for supper at the 'Ramadan Bazaar' in my neighborhood, I headed back home. While I waited for the condominium lift to arrive at the ground floor, an OBVIOUSLY Chinese-educated mother came carrying her baby. It seemed like she was a new mother, the way she struggled to handle the poor kid and of course, the fact that she was (desperately) trying to teach her baby new words.

"Say 'baby'!"

...would have been what a normal mother would say, but the Chinese-educated have problems with English pronunciation, and typically Chinese, love to repeat things they just said. (I love my race)

"Seh bay-bee! Seh bay-bee!"

So when the lift arrived and its doors opened, the mother, her baby, and I stepped in. I pressed the button which read '6', and would take me to the sixth floor, where I lived. (duh) And the mother tried to teach her baby where they lived.

"'Eigh' chai nah li?"

*Your handy little English translator: Where is 'eight'? (yes, 'eigh' is the way Chinese pronounce 'eight')

I'm sure she repeated that line a couple more times, before finally pressing the button that read '8', which would take them to the eighth floor, where (I think) they lived. (duh, again)

"'Eigh' chai nah li? 'Eigh'? 'Eigh'?"

Few more times...

"Seh 'eigh'! Seh 'eigh'!"

(If you're thinking the lift was moving really slowly, it wasn't. I'm just telling the story in ultra slow-mo)

I was about to forsake all the principles my parents brought me up with and do something unpleasant to Mrs. I-is-know-how-to-speaking-Engrish, but then it happened.

"Seh 'eigh'! 'Eigh' for Eh-perl!"

Your handy just-translate-the word-already! buddy: "Say 'eight'! 'Eight' for apple!"


I never thought you could teach a kid the alphabet and math in just one sentence, but she did. You've gotta hand it to her.

A true story.