#327: See Oh Dee

Whether it be males raving on about knife kills at their latest male bonding session at the cyber café or (angry) females complaining time spent on it is time wasted (which could easily be made up for by a date at Baskin Robbins), COD is the word across everyone’s lips.


This may be the last thing on your mind… okay, second last, after frying durians with vegetables, but when a gamer (99.9% of the time male) indulges himself in first person shooter delight on COD, little does he know he reveals his style of hitting it with the ladies. Observe…

Dummies/Females’ guide to COD (bear with me here guys, I’m trying to cater to BOTH the genders on this blog): The basic objective of the game is basically trying to eliminate the opposing team by, well, killing them. (Real mature, I know, but let’s carry on) So the player gets to choose ‘classes’ at the start of every round, where they select guns, perks, and all the other boring stuff. So here’s where cedricolosophy comes in- You can determine the player’s scoring-chicks style by which class he picks… Curious? Read on! Not so curious? Stand up, turn around three times, rub your tummy, THEN read on.


The ‘Assault’ Class
It takes skill to make full use of this class. While most complain that the class’s primary weapon's slow firing rate takes too long to make a kill, the fact is with accuracy and proper knowledge of the weapon, the ‘assault’ player poises a deadly threat to opposition. OR he’s a total amateur and is in it just for two easy kills with the tube before bowing out.


The ‘Spec Ops’ Class
Used mainly by players who enjoy running around and dropping traps for extra kills. It’s primary weapon is lethal at middle to close range. Experts at this class usually give until there’s nothing left. (hint: empty bullet clips)


The ‘Heavy Gunner’ Class
Those who use this class are either extremely good at it, or the opposite. While the experts select this class because of the primary weapon's rapid fire rate and bullet damage, the novices are in it just for the plentiful amount of bullets, where using 100 bullets just for one kill is usually the case. Does not work well at close range.


The ‘Demolition’ Class
The perfect class for those rough-'n'-tumblers who love physical play. A single hit is usually enough for a kill. Extremely powerful and dangerous at close contact, but useless from afar.


The ‘Sniper’ Class
While some may call it cowardice to use this class, the fact is this class requires a lot of skill. The ‘sniper’ is crafty, following his target patiently before perfectly striking at his chance. There’s more to this class though, the ‘sniper’ usually has only one chance to make a kill, and sometimes goes through a ‘dry run’. The ‘sniper’ also tends to steal fellow players’ targets, letting his teammates do the work before swooping in for the kill.

The above content may be observed at selected cyber cafés. This research has been complied by the University of Cedricology. This material is copyrighted. Permission must be granted before circulation of any sort.


Some extra text to prove I still got this roll goin'.