#320: Becoming Famous Made Easy

Yes folks, the title says it all! And before you say to yourself 'Not another stupid Cedric post' (which you secretly love me for), exit this tab, and start searching 'kicked in the nuts' on YouTube, let me assure you that the contents of this post is 99.7% true, along with some actual proof to win you over. Convinced? Then read on!


The 5 Easiest Ways To Get Famous


5. Shamelessly showcase your lack of intelligence.
You've seen: Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton- perfect examples. Sure, you think they're stoopid and all, but you ARE talking about them, aren't you?


4. Make your own cooking show and give it the silliest name.
You've seen: Jamie Oliver has it going on. Naked Chef. Genius. (Of course, you've got to be really good at the cooking part too.)


3. Take a picture of... ahem... and send it to someone, with the knowledge that someone over the net is gonna intercept it, of course.
You've seen: Well, not really seen, but Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy apparently boosted sales of the band's latest record because of his shameless exhibition of his lower body. (appropriately said, don't y'think?)


2. DON'T win American Idol.
You've seen: Chris Daughtry's enjoying his fair share of (overrated) fame. I mean, what happened to Reuben Studdard? Is that even his name?


1. Win 8 gold medals in a single Olympics.
You've seen: Michael Phelps did it. Now people are examining his feet size, the amount of carbs he consumes a day, and possibly even the diameters of his ears. (C'mon, those things are HUGE. They could be used as radars for the military.)


And the invaluable gift of knowledge I so willingly share with you shall continue, after I make up uncover the rest. Peace.