#180: Optimus Prime Is A Thief!- Part 2

The last time we checked, my brother and I were still pretty anxious on the outcome of the coffee-table we nabbed that turned out to be someone else's. (read previous post) And you found out how good Switchfoot's work is.

If you haven't listened to Legend of Chin, put that on the top of your 'Next Switchfoot Album I'm Listening To Next' list. Oh. We're back. So as I thought for the third... wait. Does understanding Malay count as thinking? Oh well, as I thought for the third/fourth (it's up to you to decide) time, I came out with a plan. Slightly more complex, but I'm sure Albert Einstein wasn't really proud of my efforts. Here was the plan: We both (My brother was also dragged into this- but I did all the thinking) carry the table eight floors up, put the table in front of the tenth door on the fourteenth floor, leave an anonymous note on the table, ring the doorbell, and make a run for it.

And well, that was what we did. Well, not exactly. After about four floors up, I decided that the two of us carrying it up was taking two long. We had to coordinate with each other, and well, siblings aren't really good at that. So I summoned all my macho-ness, carried the table- and dumped it into the arms of my younger brother. Just kidding, I carried up a good ten floors to our destination. And there it stood before us. Door number 10. Woops. Wrong floor. Okay, I'll stop the kidding. There the door was. My arms were like jelly. (Sure, I had finished the 'Six Pack' campaign, but I was far from completing the other campaign: 'Solid, Strong Arms')

Okay, it went FAR from planned. Instead of even ringing the doorbell, I decided abandon my brother and make a noisy exit down the stairs. Which was made even noisier by my brother unleashing one of his world-famous screams. Until now, I still insist the next time he screams in public, the Cina ladies'll recognize his voice.

So we proudly, officially classified 'Project Coffee-table' as a completed success. Sure, I had to take another bath, (I forgot to mention, but 'jelly arms' usually come with pespiring) but that didn't take away a single drop of the joy of completing a highly classified, top-secret mission.

THE EN... Oh! What? Ah yes, I missed out the Optimus Prime bit. Anyway, even though 90% of them are wrong, (except for the one about Arsenal winning a trophy this season) here's a prediction: When Aunty Cina (yes, we'll call her that) opens her door and sees her glass coffee-table returned, she'll see an anonymous note attached.

Salutations.

My deepest apologies on mistakingly confiscating your table. I had no knowledge whatsoever that it was in possession of anyone. Maybe I could take you out for a cup of tea perhaps? To make up for this misunderstanding?

Sincerely, a gentleman.

NO. I'm Cedric Cha Jyoong. Let's say unless it's to pick up the almost extinct British hotties, I'd keep a distance from 'dainty' language. So the truth was, when Aunty Cina finds her table returned, she'll find your not-so-average anonymous note.

Dear Magaret(because i don't know your name)

Sorry for taking your top secret table.
I did not know that it belonged to someone.
Please don't call the cops.

-Optimus Prime

Until now I still do not know whether Aunty Cina understood the note, or whether she watched Transformers. But let's hope she doesn't keep a lifelong grudge against Awp-tee-mers Pryme.

THE END.

As Barney from How I Met Your Mother would say, "True story."

#179: Optimus Prime Is A Thief!- Part 1

Okay. So I was bored. I had finished Season 2 of How I Met Your Mother (post coming out soon), watched I Think I Love My Wife, (see how family-friendly I am?) and well, was bored out of my guts.

When I'm bored, I'd drive over to The Curve, visit a few relatives in Seremban, chill at Singapore, OR go cycling. Yeah. So today, I vouched for cycling.

As I pushed my bike out of the lift into the lobby (where people would leave unwanted stuff for fellow residents to scavenge for), I laid my eyes on a glass coffee-table that was in a reasonably good shape. And since no one was watching over it and me being the typical, free-loading Malaysian, my brother (who decided not to let me have my 'emo time' and follow me) and I took the table up to Mummy, who gleamed with pride at the talent of Iknowhowtogetgoodjunk she had passed down to her brilliant, extremely good-looking sons.

And just as the both of us finally started out on our imaginary escapade to the labyrinth, (better known as 'park') I noticed an old Cina lady, a middle-aged Cina lady, and a small Cina girl who seemed like they were snooping around the same place that I plucked the jolly ol' coffee-table from. 'Too bad, those losers. Probably could find a handsome, 15 year-old, left-handed boy who could carry the table up for them all by himself.' I thought, 'They're amateurs in freeloading- compared to me.'

So yeah, the evening was your typical day at the park. Well, MY typical day at the park. Ignoring the bewildered stares from the Tai Chi practicing uncles and aunties as we sped down slopes that, well, lasted for a good five seconds. Then we went swimming as I continued my 'I'm Gonna Have A Six-pack By This Month' campaign. Just kidding. I finished that campaign a year ago.


Author's Note: I know you're probably wondering why I gave this post such an inappropriate title, but we're getting there. If you're feeling bored, go drink a glass of milk, listen to a Switchfoot album, and continue this post.


Yes we're back, and I ALREADY know how good Switchfoot is. So, moving on, me and my brother (who I'm more good-looking than- I thought I'd add that in) returned from our emotional bonding session #902, and I had gotten to know that he doesn't like that girl named 'Tania' for the hundred and second time. So just as I was thinking I'd be lucky the hundred and third time, I noticed a hand-written sign just beside the lift doors. All I caught was a glimpse, but it involved two words: 'meja cermin,' which translates to glass table. Yes, uh-oh.

Telling your parents that the 'itgoessowellwiththefurniture' coffee-table that they didn't have to spend a single penny on isn't too hard, but when your 'yougohandleitcuzineedtorest' dad decides not to return the table back, I'd say panicking was a logical thing to do.

"There is a time in every man's life when he has to sacrifice all he has for the sake of his children, to pull them out of the clutches of evil. Alan Cha Cheong Chong, now is the time."

Sadly, that 'heroic' speech didn't work. Neither did adding "And that goes for mothers too." to Mum help. So I breathed in, and just as regular as Danielle plays sports, I THOUGHT. I was proud of myself in the end, I only took ten full minutes thinking of a highly complex plan:

Return the table.

Hey! It wasn't easy, okay? Try doing it when you're in trouble and your parents aren't supporting you. So, for the second time in a year, I thought again. (I admit it. Homeschooling requires no brains) I decided that anybody could have lost a glass table, not the Cina ladies I saw before. So after dinner, I went down to the ground floor and took a good look at the sign. It was in Malay, and you don't have to think to understand that, so my thinking counter stayed at two. (Kidding!) So basically, it said something along the lines of 'Whoever took the table (What? Couldn't a strong wind blow it away?) please return in to floor #14, door #10.'

There were two problems: 1. They had reported the incident to the management! The place where the 'jogging guy' (remind me to tell you bout that story) worked at! Oh no! 2. I could have been more sensible and take the lift up to the fourteenth floor, but I was afraid that maybe some neighborhood watch housewifes would ambush me in the lift, so I opted for taking the stairs. It was the fourteenth floor. I lived on the sixth.


Author's Note: Okay, so we're not really 'getting there'. The story's turned out to be a little lengthy, so we'll stop now. I'll let you get back to listening to another of Switchfoot's albums. Look out for Part 2 in the near future here on my blog, to find out why 'Optimus Prime Is A Thief!' Oh, and no, homeschooling does require brains. You fell for it, you public-schooling doofus.

#178: If you're happy and you know it...

First, there was Bioshock.


Then, there was Photoshop CS3.


Now, there is a very happy Cedric.

I wish I could say I did those sketches, but the bredit belongs to The Etch-A-Sketchist. Amazing work.

#177: Oiyoo!

I wish I could kill the sexiest person alive, but suicide is a sin.

#176: Guess Who's Back!

A big 'YO!' to the masses!


After a pretty lengthy period of absence, we are finally back- refreshed and revamped, with a spanking-new site! Feel free to explore our site and browse through our portfolio, which records many past bloomunkee projects.

Also, we're giving up advertising space on our sidebar for YOU fill in! Email bloomunkeeinc@gmail.com and publicize your site, blog, business, etc. here on bloomunkee's site!


Until next time,
The bloomunkee Staff

[CLICK]

#175: Bio-Syok

You are a cast-away in Rapture, an underwater Utopia torn apart by civil war. Caught between powerful forces, and hunted down by genetically modified “splicers” and deadly security systems, you have to come to grips with a deadly, mysterious world filled with powerful technology and fascinating characters. No encounter ever plays out the same, and no two gamers will play the game the same way.

-2k Games' Bioshock site

A brilliant, twisted storyline, mind-blowing graphics, amazing game ambiance- Bioshock is THE first person shooter game.

I'm no pro-gamer, but I know a good game when I see one, (AND that's why I don't play Maple) and THIS is a good game. Just released worldwide a month ago, Bioshock got rave reviews and ratings. While my computer couldn't handle the game graphics, Bernard brought his whole (bulky) PC over while he did some configuring on my com, so I got an hour's taste of it.

It simply enchants you into the whole new world of Rapture and its pistol-wielding, wall climbing 'splicers.' (So much that I even jumped out of a chair when one of 'em 'splicers' attacked me out of nowhere)


Extreme gore, self-mutation, rescuing cute (5 year-old) girls, or harvesting them (in other words 'kill')- Bioshock rocks my buttocks!

#174: Whooaa-aaa

Jose Mourinho reported leaves Chelsea, Man United struggle in their opening Premier League matches, Liverpool is... well, Liverpool lah. Nothing special there.

And how's Arsenal doing, one may ask.


Well, first we reached the top of the table, Fabregas is becoming a goal-scoring machine and midfield anchor, then we beat Sevilla 3-0. I'd say we're doing pretty good.

Say what, Debbie?

#173: I Heart Threadless

Be jealous, Joshua Yee. Be very, very jealous. For somebody's Threadless shirt arrived yesterday.

I've finally something to match my artsy-fartsiness and inability to work...

Note to the artistically challenged and semi-blind: It's a plane 'take-off-station-thingy' constructed out of office stationary, hence the paper planes and the books-and-mug tower.

Oh yeah, The War Against Work is mine!

#172: What's in an email name?

Sunday was when I learned an extremely entertaining game from Joshua Chang (The 'Yee' doesn't wanna talk to me anymore)- Randomly picking someone and simply predicting what their emails might be. So my mind began churning up the corniest emails and believe me, it's as addictive as Fighter's Club! Read on! (The trick is to be a little over-exaggerating)

If . . . had an email, it would be . . .

A la la chai slouching as he walks, with headphones in his ears: naruto75@hotmail.com

A la la mooi donning striped socks and at least three layers of shirts/tops: sonata_dreamz@hotmail.com

An Avril-loving girl fresh out of primary school: highschoolmusical_gurl@yahoo.com

An online game-playing tweenager: dark_slayer99@yahoo.com or x_deathassassin_x@hotmail.com

Time to get more specific... (these cracked me up!)

Danielle: chocolateyumyum@hotmail.com

Crystal: summermemories@gmail.com

Joshua Yee: joshauyee92@hotmail.com- "Woops. Got my name wrong."

Joshua Foong: boy_with_a_guitar@gmail.com

Daniel Sim: iDaniel@gmail.com

Jun-Min: blink182_rockerboi@hotmail.com

Raymond Dinshaw: manu_4eva@hotmail.com

Jeremy Foo: O.o@hotmail.com

Jared Goon: sex_iz_a_goodthing@hotmail.com

Samuel Lim: praisethelord47@pc.jaring.my


Try it now! Laughs and entertainment guaranteed!

#171: The Joshau Episodes- Part 4

Previewman's voice: "Today on Joshau Episodes, *theme music* the season finale."

It was approximately two in the morning, and the creative department of YC Camp were well past burning the midnight oil in preparation for camp. Aaron, Daniel, and Cedric battled the evil forces of Tyred and diligently pressed on working through the night in their secret base, otherwise known as Aaron's house.

And then, there was Joshua Yee.

He had tagged along, because:

-He was Aaron's number one fan.

-He was Daniel's number one fan.

-He was Cedric's number one fan.

-He was Aaron's mother's number one fan.

-He was... You get the point.

Joshua had already excellently proven his way-too impressive intelligence earlier in the day, (read the two previous posts) and was still persevering as a shining beacon to the lame and the less(I didn't say 'not') intelligent, mistaking the name 'Julie' for 'Jun Min.' Thrice. And also sacrificing his sleep in supporting his three idols in their darkest hour. (What a nice guy)

Let's say Aaron, Daniel, and Cedric aren't in their best moods when they're trying to beat a dateline, giving up sleep, and feeling like a pregnant man. (in Cedric's case) And as Joshua was slowly snipping off fragments of their intelligence, Cedric shifted his attention to his fellow workers.

"Eh. Blogger is so much better than Xanga wei. Equivalent to a Xanga Premium."

It was two in the morning, what else should Cedric talk about? And so the threesome had a short pro-Blogger conversation, and Cedric pointed out that Mei Mei* had a Xanga Premium, which was followed by a little more Blogger supporters' speeches.

And then, out of the blue, Joshua spoke.

"But she's pretty lah."

In almost perfect unison the three heads of Aaron, Daniel, and Cedric turned in the direction of Joshua. And after a few confused eyebrow flexes moment, the three lads had faced a new enemy. Dooknot Luftoolaud Oryur Pairensell Waikup. (must be a Serbian scientist)

*Name has been changed for privacy purposes. Okay, it's just to spare Joshua a LEETLE less embarrassment. Aaron, Daniel, and Cedric are accepting guesses. First three correct answers get ten bonus points!

Note: If you do not understand all of the above, I'd suspect you're another of the guys who didn't get our diver comic, or if you couldn't take the rich language in this post.

Or if you're Joshua.

And thus, Season 1 of The Joshau Episodes concludes. Whether a second season will follow, it all lies in the hands... I mean brain... of Mr. Joshua Yee. Should you be excited or scared?

#170: The Joshau Episodes- Part 3

If you're looking for an inspirational, spirit-lifting post- something life-changing that makes you a better person...

GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

It's 'Joshau Episodes time!' *Theme music plays*

It was a jolly evening, and Joshua was in a van with Jeremy Foo on the way to someone's house for a meeting. What came over Joshua I never knew, but he smugly remarked,

"Eh. Jer. (Jeremy's nickname) You... lost your iPod is it?" *snicker*

"YESSS. I dunwanna talkaboutit."

"Err. The eighty gig one is it?" (Thank God Jeremy was someone who could refrain from punching an irritating, smart-a... err... guy)

"Thirty gig lah."

"Then not so bad wud." Ever felt your fists tightening in sheer pissing-offness?

That was when the handsome character Cedric stepped- well, you can't step into a van right in the middle of no where, but you get what I mean. So Cedric remarked,

"Jer. Silver lining."

And then Josh's moment of pure intelligence came forth.

"Which silver lining? Oh! You mean the one around the iPod ah?"

Let's say I'd rather not waste space on crowding this post with har hars and haw haws.


Eh, Josh. Har har har.

Up next: Season Finale. (Our producers have decided to stop screening this series due to the fear of a huge drop in intelligence. And also because we're nice guys.)

#169: The Joshau Episodes- Part 2

Today, the wordl commemorates the existence of blurdom and lamenes for 15 years. Yes, Joshua Yee is a big boy.

Eleven years ago he was a blurcase.



He still is now.



Eleven years ago he was a posser.

(check out the 'seductive' pose)

He stilll is now.



Happy Brithday Fool! May God bless you and keepp you safe. Safe from GIRLS. *hint hint*

And now that he's being kept safe from the ladies, may I interest you in a guy named Cedric?

This post is a limited edition Joshua Yeee 15th anniversary post! Now with extra speeling errors. Only for a limited time!

And since it's his birthday, I'll spare him and not tell an embarrassing tale today. But tomorrow, it's a different story.

#168: The Joshau Episodes- Part 1

So I was reminiscing on the loss of one of our church's most celebrated persons, Uncle Dennis (and his coffeeshop), with good ol'd Joshua Yee. And he curiously inquired on Uncle Dennis' whereabouts.

So I patiently explained that his unscrupulous father, who owned the coffeeshop shop lot, had raised the rent (for his own son- how stupid is that), forcing Uncle Dennis (who had experienced this insanity before) to move out and migrate to England where he had a job offer, resulting in the many heartbroken stomachs of our church members.

After my tragic tale, Josh, in ultimate blurdom fashion, said "Then how come he's in Australia?"

I gave him a huh look, and got this reply.

"There, Kelsey said on her blog."

So I went through my brain files, and then this came to mind.

No I will not lasso it properly. I have better things to do.

"Dude! That's Uncle Dennis Balan lah! Her uncle."

Oh man. You can't wait for Part 2, can you?

#167: I'm 'Paste-y'

92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this.

#166: Amazing, Indeed

Right up until the time he pounced, Maurice looked like a sleek killing machine.
It all went wrong just before he jumped. His rear rose, it waggled faster and faster from side to side, his tail slashed at the air like a snake, and then he dived forward, claws out-
"Squeak!"
"Okay, here's the deal," said Maurice to the shivering ball in his claws. "You only have to say something. Anything. 'Let me go,' maybe, or even 'Help!' Squeak does not cut the mustard. It's just a noise. Just ask, and I'll let you go. No one can say I'm not highly moral in that respect."
"Squeak!" screamed the mouse.
"Fair enough," said Maurice, and killed it instantly.

Now that's a paragraph I can only dream of writing all by myself. Terry Pratchett, another genius, dragged me into the world of a talking cat and mice, along with an imaginative twist of adventure and scandals in The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents. And instantly I got captured into sharing the fantasy of dear ol' Mr. Pratchett. A simply fantastic read from end to end.

Dancing back and forth under the spinning, yapping Jacko, Darktan waited for his moment . . .
. . . and saw it, and lunged, and bit hard.
Jacko's eyes crossed. A piece of Jacko that was very private and of interest only to Jacko and any lady dogs he might happen to meet was suddenly a little ball of pain.

And this book is classified 'children's literature.' Who wants to grow up, then?

#165: Foreman, Oh Foreman

Yes, if you haven't already noticed, Facebook is taking a huge percentage of my blog updates. Whether it's for the better or worse, that's for you to decide.

Anyway, guess what happened on Facebook today?

Besides becoming a Ninja, receiving Fizzy Water, being engaged in a lightsaber duel, AND writing graffiti.

Look who's on my friends list.


Wait. On the count of three, scream 'Zoom in!'

One, two... C'mon. I need your cooperation.

Okay. One, two, three...

ZOOM IN!


Ta-da!

Rachel Danielle George is on my list!

Wait. What's so great bout that. I mean, it's just Rachel. (kiddin!)

ZOOM IN!


This zooming business is getting quite cool.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Jon Foreman. From the band My Chemical Romance. OH C'MON! You don't know Jon Foreman?! God bless you, go Google him.

As for you, Ming. I have nothing to say.


FORMAN?!

I don't know whether to laugh or be angry. Oh well, laughing works for me.

*laughs like when I found out Crystal had to go for NS* (Only Nise and Nielle will get this- I think)

#164: American Idiots

Things I'd never know if it wasn't for my history schoolbook.

-The United States are the good guys. Mao, Hitler, and Osama (yes, I studied a little bout him): bad guys.

-Join the United States side and you become the good guy too.

-Sure, The U.S. underwent depression and Civil War, but because they're so perfect, they solved it, thanks to their perfect Presidents.


Conclusion: American history books are pure propaganda. God bless America.

This entry was inspired by Denise's history post. But no, history is my favorite subject.

#163: Of a Little Boy and a Tiger

Genius.

That's all Bill Watterson is. It's just simply mind-blowing how he constructed Calvin and Hobbes to be such a killer comic. How a little boy and his toy tiger leaves us in amazement of the sheer bliss and mystery of life. And since Daniel Sim lent me THREE compilations, all I've been doing is reading. And thinking. A lot. Respect- Mr. Watterson.



AND Facebook is getting quite 'interesting' and taking up a lot of time.

#162: Bookface

Yes, I have succumbed to peer pressure and gotten myself a Facebook account. And I have no clue on how to use it. What the heck, you can do awesome things like 'poking' people. Works for me.

Add me okie? O.o Thx very muchh! blek!

Forget the sentence above. The truth is, I'm gay. No, not that. I use Friendster and stuff like these cuz I like filling in forms and details. Call me freak, I just like it.

#161: First 'Gig'

It was just a few weeks back when I was asked to shoot people, I mean... take photos, for a friend's party. So here are some of the shots I took. (the nice ones, of course, what else?!)


My ex-boyfriend. He so shy le.


The killer popiah ingredients. *drool*


Isn't that the hottest popiah seller you've ever seen?


I got to take a picture with a hot model! For free!


A random shot of one of the birthday girls and her frenz playing ping-pong. I don't usually go around taking pics of little girls, in case you're wondering.


And this is where Jeremy and Crystal start talking and the rest either act like they understand, or just go get food to eat.


I found Malaysia's Most Eligible Bachelor.


The Kat got out of the hat. (and she knows how to pose)


Two of my favorite girls. *wink*


What's a party without a poser, right?

And the other favorite. (she is gonna kill me)


Check the model out. Phee weet!


The meaning of true love: Feeding your baby.


'Happy Birthday' time.


AND the cake that I missed. Hmmph.

#160: This is a Joshua Yee

Say hello to a Joshua Yee.


A Joshua Yee is a boy. That means... Oh, nevermind.
A Joshua Yee is lame. But He can walk.
This Joshua Yee has a birthday coming up. And an embarrassing post too. (Watch out)

And by the way, The ThinkTank is back after a one month break, refreshed and ready for action! Visit us now!